Get new articles by email freeDressing to distraction
Guest
September 11th, 2008I don’t think I am a sexist pig. I love working with “ball-busting” women in the workplace, and I’m proud of my wife’s accomplishments as a VP in a Fortune 500 company. I do some housework. And I think strip clubs are sad, desperate places.
I mention those things to burnish my “nice guy” credentials before I say what I’ve got to say: As many times as not, when meeting with women in the workplace, I’m put in the impossible position of trying not to look at their breasts - simply because of what they’ve chosen to wear that day. Clearly some women intentionally dress to provoke, showing fleshy cleavage and wearing tight or see-through shirts. But I want to address those of you who don’t mean to attract this kind of unprofessional attention, and ask you to consider these “dress-to-distraction” clothing situations:
The first is when you wear a button-down blouse with that one button that s t r e t c h e s across your bust line. When I see this I can’t help wonder, “Is this the meeting that button will blow?” Another is when you wear a bra that allows your nipples to shine like headlights through your shirt. And then there are those tiny tops that look like lingerie, just straps and a sheath of satin, worn without a jacket.
I really want to take you seriously, but even subconsciously these distractions are bound to undermine the other ways that I see you. But it happens so often that I have to ask: Do women consider this “unprofessional” dress? I may be just a guy, but I think button-downs ought to fit right. If you’ve got prominent nipples, I will pay much more attention to what you are saying if you hide ‘em. And satin and lace is fine for a date or under a nice jacket. Am I wrong?
I don’t think any woman should have to dress like a man to garner respect, and I can separate those that intentionally want to catch a man’s eye from those that probably haven’t considered what their outfits look like under those harsh conference room lights. Everyone knows about the importance of first impressions, and I just thought I’d mention this because I want you to be seen as the credible and brilliant women you are.
This author has requested to remain anonymous.
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I really have a hard time
I really have a hard time believing that some women don't realize or intend to cause the distraction. I can't help but look at women's breasts when they are described as above. I'm all for the freedom to wear what we choose, but I also want people to comment on my actions, not on what I was wearing that day.
Great points on professional dress
No you're not wrong. I suppose many women don't notice these things or realize that it undermines them. Especially with younger women the lingerie tops were all the rage in stores, but I don't think satin and spaghetti straps are appropriate in the office without some kind of top or jacket over it. But with the proper top, it can be both feminine and professional.
Sometimes I think younger women right out of college still find it appropriate to dress like they're still there. Many are single and see the office as a place to attract boyfriends without realizing that it it makes others take them less seriously.
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