Dressing to distraction
Guest
September 11th, 2008I don’t think I am a sexist pig. I love working with “ball-busting” women in the workplace, and I’m proud of my wife’s accomplishments as a VP in a Fortune 500 company. I do some housework. And I think strip clubs are sad, desperate places.
I mention those things to burnish my “nice guy” credentials before I say what I’ve got to say: As many times as not, when meeting with women in the workplace, I’m put in the impossible position of trying not to look at their breasts - simply because of what they’ve chosen to wear that day. Clearly some women intentionally dress to provoke, showing fleshy cleavage and wearing tight or see-through shirts. But I want to address those of you who don’t mean to attract this kind of unprofessional attention, and ask you to consider these “dress-to-distraction” clothing situations:
The first is when you wear a button-down blouse with that one button that s t r e t c h e s across your bust line. When I see this I can’t help wonder, “Is this the meeting that button will blow?” Another is when you wear a bra that allows your nipples to shine like headlights through your shirt. And then there are those tiny tops that look like lingerie, just straps and a sheath of satin, worn without a jacket.
I really want to take you seriously, but even subconsciously these distractions are bound to undermine the other ways that I see you. But it happens so often that I have to ask: Do women consider this “unprofessional” dress? I may be just a guy, but I think button-downs ought to fit right. If you’ve got prominent nipples, I will pay much more attention to what you are saying if you hide ‘em. And satin and lace is fine for a date or under a nice jacket. Am I wrong?
I don’t think any woman should have to dress like a man to garner respect, and I can separate those that intentionally want to catch a man’s eye from those that probably haven’t considered what their outfits look like under those harsh conference room lights. Everyone knows about the importance of first impressions, and I just thought I’d mention this because I want you to be seen as the credible and brilliant women you are.
This author has requested to remain anonymous.
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I think these are good points
I think these are good points - men wouldn't be allowed to wear a tank top to the office and if a gentleman's belly (or breasts i guess) cause his button down shirt not to fit well I would have the same thoughts about the potential button longevity.
Its one thing to be an attractive powerful woman in your office clothes, you can dress and look like a woman, but for my 2 cents sexy doesn't have a place in the office - in any context or from either gender.
Guys - You're missing the
Guys -
You're missing the point.
They're flaunting their power.
And the more uncomfortable you are about it,
the more power they have.
Not that I'm complaining.
Just sayin'.
I do agree that you have some
I do agree that you have some valid points but they are the coming from a male. There are things you don't consider. To a women with breasts I don't think about my nipples getting hard just as a man may not think about adjusting the boys in public.. It's just something we as women become desensitized to.
Also women in the workplace have lots to contend with when it comes to clothing. On one hand we want to look professional on the other its not as easy as with men who buy a pair of slacks and a button down and call it good. If a women comes to work in slacks and a button down her sexuality comes into question.... why is that?
on the other hand we want to be comfortable. Most times comfortable is frumpy.
And then in our minds we want to look fashionable because we know that there are women and sometimes men who will judge us if we are out of style.
I could go on but I won't just keep in mind gentlemen that a women has no control over her nipples getting hard just like you as a teenager had no control over something of yours getting hard.. be considerate just like we are and don't look cause it is out of our control.
I really have a hard time
I really have a hard time believing that some women don't realize or intend to cause the distraction. I can't help but look at women's breasts when they are described as above. I'm all for the freedom to wear what we choose, but I also want people to comment on my actions, not on what I was wearing that day.
Great points on professional dress
No you're not wrong. I suppose many women don't notice these things or realize that it undermines them. Especially with younger women the lingerie tops were all the rage in stores, but I don't think satin and spaghetti straps are appropriate in the office without some kind of top or jacket over it. But with the proper top, it can be both feminine and professional.
Sometimes I think younger women right out of college still find it appropriate to dress like they're still there. Many are single and see the office as a place to attract boyfriends without realizing that it it makes others take them less seriously.
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